Our enemy is at it every day, every moment, every chance he gets he uses with maximum impact. He never give up in his quest for spreading his evil thoughts and ideas to all of us innocent so-called “lambs”.
This enemy, as evil as he is, comes to me every day and does not leave me until somehow, by the blessings of angels, I fall asleep. I think that’s the only time this evil enemy leaves me alone, although I cant be completely sure of that. For now, lets assume that sleeping temporarily saves me and you from the enemy.
This evil thing makes sure that I think about situations that happened in the past, sometimes way back in the past, things which cant be changed anymore. Then am reminded about situations which never happened in reality. Conversations which never took place. I think about myself being in particularly embarrassing situations. I know I should have killed myself for saying or doing certain things in the past, but that is now a part of my history and no matter what I do I can never change that.
My sworn enemy shows how weak, stupid and unworthy I am of any kind of achievement. It asks, “who are you dude? what quality do you have to make things happen? why would anyone on earth be motivated to follow you? Come on, Wake up and smell the coffee.”
My enemy is wicked. He knows all my weak points. he uses them in all possible ways. He says to me, “look at you, what have you achieved in life? you are physically unfit, psychologically weak, mentally dumb, unintelligent, lazy, worthless piece of meat”. I feel he has his points well connected. He makes sense because there are examples in my life which endorse the above qualities.
This is the way my enemy no 1 wins over me. He wins when he makes me loose hope in myself. He wins when I begin to give up on my dreams. I loose all. He wins everything. In the end, he makes me think like a looser, like a lamb in a slaughter house. Now lets meet this evil enemy. It is ME. Yes, nobody else in the world tells me all these to my face but myself. The voice that speaks to me everyday, every free moment, its my own voice, my own thoughts.
The reason I cant move ahead and change myself is because of these voices that come from within me. I stay away from success because that stupid voice reminds me of failure as a rule in my life. I am a victim of my own designs. My own self made model of life has been structured on failure as an end result.
The good news is that I have another me, the one which is positively programmed to do great things in life. I wish I knew how to talk to myself…